... some whisks are just not made to have chocolate cake batter licked off of them...
that's all I am saying........
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Self-Medication
I have decided to self-medicate with german chocolate cake -- albeit a small one -- because Ken Rudolph is leaving TVG.
Ken and Matt are the ONLY reasons I enjoy watching TVG -- well, other than the horses.
Their banter, the humor, and the down right good nature -- make it happen.
Some of the announcers drone on and on and on.
Ack !!
And before Breeder's Cup too...
::: sigh :::
what's a girl to do?
well, bake a german chcolate cake of course!
and none of that from scratch stuff.
I reached for the Duncan Hines and the canned frosting.... quick and easy.
self gratification, thy name is Kate.
Ken and Matt are the ONLY reasons I enjoy watching TVG -- well, other than the horses.
Their banter, the humor, and the down right good nature -- make it happen.
Some of the announcers drone on and on and on.
Ack !!
And before Breeder's Cup too...
::: sigh :::
what's a girl to do?
well, bake a german chcolate cake of course!
and none of that from scratch stuff.
I reached for the Duncan Hines and the canned frosting.... quick and easy.
self gratification, thy name is Kate.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Moving right along....
The weather is intensifing.
We've had a rainy day.
Now the wind is picking up.
I napped for about an hour because I am not planning on sleeping much tonight.
Might do another load of laundry.
Need to pack a bag to put in the car "just in case".
The Plan:
going back to the living room and will bead.
I'm hoping that we will get SOME of the Travers coverage.
I want to see that race!!!
We've had a rainy day.
Now the wind is picking up.
I napped for about an hour because I am not planning on sleeping much tonight.
Might do another load of laundry.
Need to pack a bag to put in the car "just in case".
The Plan:
going back to the living room and will bead.
I'm hoping that we will get SOME of the Travers coverage.
I want to see that race!!!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Irene
I'll admit it. I am afraid.
Irene is terrifying me.
I have my family and my furbabies beside me.
But I am afraid.
The house is a house.
it is full of things.
our things.
our life.
our memories.
the state and national says this is a potentially 100 year storm.
i've been through hurricans in Florida.
but nothing with the flooding potential like this.
we are 3 blocks from the mandatory evacuation line.
my office is ON the road that is the mandatory evacuation line
and it is still open.
I am stressed.
we have supplies.
I love my family so much.
Irene is terrifying me.
I have my family and my furbabies beside me.
But I am afraid.
The house is a house.
it is full of things.
our things.
our life.
our memories.
the state and national says this is a potentially 100 year storm.
i've been through hurricans in Florida.
but nothing with the flooding potential like this.
we are 3 blocks from the mandatory evacuation line.
my office is ON the road that is the mandatory evacuation line
and it is still open.
I am stressed.
we have supplies.
I love my family so much.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
The Dragon came to visit
The Dragon came for a visit this week.
And tried to engage me in a small battle.
I refused to pick up the game piece when it was thrown down.
Refused to lift up my lance.
Several people commented on how miserable The Dragon looked.
I survived, but I think I had my first anxiety attack (and the second).
And tried to engage me in a small battle.
I refused to pick up the game piece when it was thrown down.
Refused to lift up my lance.
Several people commented on how miserable The Dragon looked.
I survived, but I think I had my first anxiety attack (and the second).
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The mind knows....
I'm watching "Eat, Pray, Love" again.
Again it resonates things that are in my mind, in my heart.
Finding ways to make me look at the issues that are distressing me.
"If you want to get to the castle, you have to cross the moat."
but what if the moat is home to an angry dragon -- an angry dragon that keeps breathing fire at you?
I'm happy in my castle on the shore.
There is no desire to cross the moat, fight the dragon and get to the bigger castle.
But the dragon keeps trying to engage me in a battle.
Am I a coward for wanting only to exist? only to enjoy my life and not want to fight?
My stress levels are off the chart.
Every time the dragon sends out an epistle to me, every time the dragon roars, I cringe.
For the first time in my life, I understand what a puppy feels like when the rolled up newspaper is waved at it.
I cringe.
This is new to me.
I don't enjoy this.
I think about fear.
I think about what I need to do.
I think about what could happen if I wasn't working.
(I think about you Simme -- and what you are going through right now.)
My fear paralyzes me.
I've become the woman who will agree with anything to keep the argument down.
I've become the woman who will agree with anything to keep the dragon away.
This isn't me.
This is not the way my work life was to be.
Right now I don't have an answer.
There must be a way to let go of the fear and of the constant thinking about it.
My uber-awareness of the dragon is paralyzing me.
I had a wonderful day today -- very little if any dragon thoughts.
But she creeps back in to my mind, rattling those dragon rocks because I know Monday is coming.
and with a new work week, comes the rolled up newspaper.
In my mind, I am being bullied.
And I am so very unhappy.
I am grateful every day, every hour, every minute, every second for the two who love me so much.
So unconditionally.
They are my family, my life, my love.
I hate being weak in front of them.
Never have I been this weak.
But no matter what, the three of us have each other.
Again it resonates things that are in my mind, in my heart.
Finding ways to make me look at the issues that are distressing me.
"If you want to get to the castle, you have to cross the moat."
but what if the moat is home to an angry dragon -- an angry dragon that keeps breathing fire at you?
I'm happy in my castle on the shore.
There is no desire to cross the moat, fight the dragon and get to the bigger castle.
But the dragon keeps trying to engage me in a battle.
Am I a coward for wanting only to exist? only to enjoy my life and not want to fight?
My stress levels are off the chart.
Every time the dragon sends out an epistle to me, every time the dragon roars, I cringe.
For the first time in my life, I understand what a puppy feels like when the rolled up newspaper is waved at it.
I cringe.
This is new to me.
I don't enjoy this.
I think about fear.
I think about what I need to do.
I think about what could happen if I wasn't working.
(I think about you Simme -- and what you are going through right now.)
My fear paralyzes me.
I've become the woman who will agree with anything to keep the argument down.
I've become the woman who will agree with anything to keep the dragon away.
This isn't me.
This is not the way my work life was to be.
Right now I don't have an answer.
There must be a way to let go of the fear and of the constant thinking about it.
My uber-awareness of the dragon is paralyzing me.
I had a wonderful day today -- very little if any dragon thoughts.
But she creeps back in to my mind, rattling those dragon rocks because I know Monday is coming.
and with a new work week, comes the rolled up newspaper.
In my mind, I am being bullied.
And I am so very unhappy.
I am grateful every day, every hour, every minute, every second for the two who love me so much.
So unconditionally.
They are my family, my life, my love.
I hate being weak in front of them.
Never have I been this weak.
But no matter what, the three of us have each other.
Sore fingers
My fingers are sore from working on BFAC.
And I have so much more to do.
Sometimes I wonder why undertake a large project like this.
Why can't I just do something simple and be done?
Because I am who I am.
That's why.
And I have so much more to do.
Sometimes I wonder why undertake a large project like this.
Why can't I just do something simple and be done?
Because I am who I am.
That's why.
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