My friend Kathy

My friend Kathy died last Sunday night (BTW, on the 38th anniversary of my fathers death).
Yet another reason for me to hate 12/27.
But the date has nothing to do with it.

We organized a successful fundraiser for her -- to help with the bills -- and we raised a nice tidy sum.
Kathy was there -- god, it was so good to see her, to hear her laugh, to see her smile.
She looked good !

October was the last time I saw her.

She called me the next morning and left a voice mail on my cell phone.
I called her back -- she didn't ever call me back.
I sent cards every week.
I called and left messages.
She didn't call me back - at all.

Kathy was, well .... Kathy.
She had the biggest heart.
She would help anyone that needed it.
She could curse like a sailor.
ZOMG the times she made me laugh -- cursing at people in our office.
We were the bitchin' buddies -- we'd order lunch (most often Chinese from Mr. Wonton's -- sometimes subs from Michelli's) and go in conference room and shut the door.
Let the bitchin' begin!
And the laughter.
She made the difficult times more bearable.

But then, she didn't call anyone back.
With discussion with other friends, even people who had known her for 10 plus years, we came to the conclusion that she was distancing herself from us.
Preparing us for her death -- if you want to look at it that way.

She's been dead a week tomorrow.
No obituary yet.
Nothing about a service -- even a memorial service.
Her son is to be making the arrangements.

She HAS been cremated (her wishes).

I've decided that I need to say my goodbyes.
Weather permitting, next weekend, I think I will go down to the pier at Ocean City and throw some rose petals in to the Ocean.
Kathy loved Ocean City. She loved the ocean.
I don't know any other way to say goodbye and to tell her how I feel.