Sunday, November 1, 2009

Getting Back on Track

I'm still struggling since returning from Tahoe.
Not sure what happened.
Well, I have an idea ---- and I am keeping it to myself.
Something "put me off my feed", as we would say about horses.
Why I let myself be intimidated, I don't know.

NO --- I intimidated myself with this person.
She could care less about me, or the art I have -- in fact, that was pretty darned obvious.
I'm like a terrier with a ragtoy -- I have not been willing to let go of my feelings.
I keep telling myself to "Feel the feeling and let it go.
nope -- not working.
I seem more inclined to feel it, leave it alone, pick the scab off and torture myself with MY pain again and again and again.

SIGH -- maybe if I go out in the car and yell really loud I will feel better!

I have been struggling for two weeks to get back in to my art.
Last night I took a baby step.
That helped.
I will do more today.
and make myself, every day this week.

Next week is Breeder's Cup Saturday.
We'll hunker down for the day -- horseracing, beading, and munchies - a great time will be had by all.

1 comment:

abeadlady said...

I find it difficult to imagine you being intimidated by anyone. That being said, don't we usually do these things to ourselves? I know I do. Glad to see you are in recovery mode.